Heart Strings

Minding My Own Business

2012-02-01T15:36:00.000-08:00

It was a lovely day today. The sun was out and for February, it was unseasonable warm and pleasant. I had my to do list and started on the highway. Listening to some great music, I was ready to get off in West Rutland to go shopping. Had it all timed, be home by 3pm etc. My day's business was set. It was great!

Suddenly this nudging from God's Spirit. Go to RT 7 and be about My business. hmmm...really got to stay on task, Lord. A verse moved into my memory from my sister's casual call a few days before. "Look up...the fields are white unto harvest.".... go to the hospital and visit our elderly friend there. hmmmm....Kind of last minute, Lord.I heard she wasn't receiving visitors. I haven't a clue what I'd say. "I will tell you what to say..." hmmm..

The car refuses to get off the highway in West Rutland. Don't put off doing good till tomorrow. ....OK Lord, hospital it is...but she'll probably hate me for this!!

Had a lovely lovely visit, laugh and cry with a dear elderly friend who has known me a long time. She was very happy to see me and wanted George to come back with me some time and give her one of his bear hugs...told me how much she enjoyed hubby's recent sermons on the local cable network.

Thank you God, minding Your business was so much more fun than minding mine!

Transitions

2011-12-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

Today was a day of worry, stress, reflection, hope and praise (in that order)I'm thankful I've lived long enough to know that when God closes a door He truly does not only open a window, but a new pathway that He has planned for me. I can trust Him for that. I'm stressed out in this time for the changes that are "threatening" and may very well come to pass, but as I "worked" it out, with God reminding me He controls it all, I was so comforted by the fact that He's always been there for me. Even when I didn't know it and felt very alone as a young woman.There isn't any calamity that can suddenly fall upon me that isn't God filtered. I know that now.Do I like what I see on the horizon? No--but my love affair is with God, and He'll never ever let me down or allow anything to happen to me that He doesn't permit in His sovereign will.Some of the most interesting and most blessed things in my life have happened when I was put on a path I hadn't planned.

"The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

You love me, You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me."

If the rain or sun comes God, I praise You!!!

Freedom

2011-11-17T18:15:00.000-08:00

Today was a hard day, lots to think about, so I sort of kept my brain's second hard drive on prayer and meditation mode.

I ran into myself today, maybe with a mix of my Amygirl, too; a casual acquaintance that reminds me of Amy with her tattoos, and piercings, etc. She would easily have been likely to stop at Rockin Willies to visit Amy when she was there, fitting in perfectly at one of David's shows etc. Thus to say I've a bit of a soft spot for her. She came from a far away state with her boyfriend to live here. Watching her happily adjusting to working in a traditional work situation and talking to a much older generation as she helps them on the phone. I'm a schmuck for the underdog and the disenfranchised. She announced today she was homeless because her bottom dweller of a boyfriend announced they were breaking up as of this moment and she suddenly had no place to live last night. Only 18, she was trying not to cry as she continued in her much needed job. I was a very traditional type girl compared to most but I know what it's like to have been young and dumped by a bottom dweller selfish person and suddenly find yourself completely alone and with no place to live.

It's my place to be professional etc. I hardly know her but my heart broke. A mutual acquaintance frowned on me when I told the girl I was proud of her for holding herself together and finding a way to work after she had to suddenly spend the night at the bottom dweller's mom's house. Do we turn our back on society just because they made some poor decisions? She was raised by her great grandmother and they gave the room away when she moved out. She had freedom of choice and she chose poorly. Do we pass the cup of compassion or judgement?

I was also thinking today of how many times my world traveler daughter Amy refers to her overly sheltered background with lack of fashion and TV channels etc. As I sat down today to watch my Hercule Poirot on the PBS station memories crashed in about all the wonderful stuff we used to watch on PBS because of our TV depravity. It showed a girl looking in a telescope as one of their ads. It reminded me of how the lack of the world's depravity as my children were raised in Walpole NH enabled my children to soar in their own dreams without the crushing of peer pressure to do what maybe they weren't ready for. For as much as some things were oppressive with our church folks rules and expectations, my older kids had a wonderfully protected life that made room for each of them to blossom fully. I met a little girl today that may not have had a parents love, care and nurturing. Was she free or were my children free?

God cares for them all. I'm praying this little 18 year old will find God's love in Jesus and not be alone and vulnerable to the next bottom dweller because she could find her full value in the price Christ paid for her.

~But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.~

Reversal Babies

2011-10-26T08:14:00.000-07:00

This has been an emotional few weeks for me, for a number of reasons, and it's been all joy. My husband and I have been working these last several years on learning how to let go of our children.

So I've been on my face with God, praying for the last two sons at home. We are so proud that Jake is working at leading his youth group and his attitudes with his parents while he cooperates to achieve his diploma and travel on a mission trip to Germany next July.

Two weeks plus or so, George and I had decided we were going to talk with David and lay it out straight for him that unless he uses all his talents and gives them to God first, he won't have the life direction he's looking for and missing right now. It came after a few weeks of listening to a guitar player at church that sounded like David and a weekend of releasing him to a trip to NY to see Alyssa and his friend Cecil at NYU. We were convinced it was time to speak with him about these things. Before we could say anything, he came to us and said he needed to talk to us about college. He shared some of what we had already heard a number of times from him , that being the feminist and humanistic slant at CSC that is wearing him down. He explained that he'd like to finish this semester and then work till Fall to build up his bank account and then go to Valley Forge Christian College. Since we had Jim Beesaw visit with his black buddy Isaac, from VFCC I guess Dave's been thinking about it. He had even started an online app and written an essay required to go with it. When he first came up I was all set to be defensive about a college change until he started talking and then I knew God's Spirit had reached into his heart and this "talk about college" was actual a direct answer to prayer. He explained that Youth Work was not his calling Christian Youth Work was. That's why the answer wasn't at Springfield or Castleton.

He explained how Jim almost cried when he told him about his classes there and about God's work there. Turns out that's the exact weekend George and I talked about laying it out straight to him. God is soo good!! For all we know the Spirit prompting us could have been Dave's cry out to God!!

He shared the essay he had secretly already prepared for the college ap. In it, he explained his time at Springfield and his falling away from God and how he was raised. He explained how he felt like he was in the shadows and didn't belong at CSC either, even though he'd been going to class and doing the work. Then he told the story about how his sister Sara had explained to him why his parents had made his middle name Clay. He went on to say that he found that clay loses it's form unless it's in the potter's hands all the time. With that he feels he needs to be in God's hand with everything, including his career choice. So he feels his best giftedness and interest isn't teaching music and music theory , but Christian youth work and using music to further that goal. We were teary eyed when we read the essay. God heard our cries, or was it David's cries, or was it Sara's faithfulness to underline the verses? Nah...it was all God!! He's the only one we count on to move in the hearts of all of us!!

David no longer seems depressed. He is full of hope and God's comfort and direction. Being on your face with God is a good thing, and that seems where our family of 4 has been a good part of this year. But the peaceable fruit is settling in our home...and I baked an Apple pie to celebrate!!

Fall Memories

2011-10-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

Fall "Autumn" is my all time favorite time of the year. Sights , smells and sounds imprint our brain with memories and I can't think of a season that has done that more for me than Fall. Timeless memories of pretty colorful leaves on the ground....raking them up on a lazy afternoon--to see how large a leaf pile we could create so we could jump off the porch into the huge pile. School dresses in beautiful plaids newly made by my mom, with new lunch pails and pencils for school. Long walks home after the bus left me off --shuffling my feet thru the paths of dried leaves.

I remember long walks in the woods, looking for hickory nuts to crack open for a snack. Beautiful dark purple grapes in the vineyard behind Mr Toro's house. The smells of gorgeous leaves on the ground, damp with the Fall rain. Times going to the Danbury Fair to see the Clydesdale Horses....the harvest of the season at every display. I'll never be too old to remember how wonderful it all felt, even now. I put out the pumpkins at the door near the mums. Our house is surrounded by a carpet of gold and red leaves that reflect this beautiful light/aura around the house. I realize they have to be raked--David's job this year :-)---but right now I enjoy them and my heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for all his bounty.

~~The heavens declare the majesty of God~~~

Raging Waters 2011

2011-09-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

It's odd that I've not blogged/journaled about Hurricane Irene yet. It's wrecked havoc across Vermont. Not sure what to say about it...so overwhelming it puts even this chatty Cathy to silence. But it's huge here. People are suffering. Roads and historic homes and bridges are washed away by streams that became raging rivers. There's much to do to help.

It's funny how so much beauty can be seen in such stark contrast to such darkness. People are despairing and suicidal, I'm told. In myself, I feel like I'm starting on a very good road. It's all about God and what He wants me to do. A new beginning... I desperately need this...to feel needed and helpful and yes even someone who people would be blessed to know. I'm so incredibly thankful to God for His never ending second chances. Life is rich and beautiful. Young people sometimes don't think us older folk feel and move with the same intensity or sense of joy that they do...but I can attest that this old lady feels full of hope and brand new. Bring it on!

Pieces Parts

2011-08-15T17:55:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been very tired and kind of sad. There's legit reasons for both of those symptoms, but somehow I felt in the middle of someone else's dream. Deep joy for great stuff I see in all my children, but then inexplicable sadness too deep for other thoughts etc. I didn't think much of it , except I knew it was a journey God had begun in my life. But hark! Unknown to me, the doctor had done a lot of testing on the blood samples I'd recently given, for my annual check up. Good news is--nothing serious can be detected. Good liver and kidney function, great good cholesterol, not too bad --bad cholesterol. But a call from the doctor's office the other day revealed I'm extremely low in Vitamin D. Turns out not enough sun, etc, can cause this for one. So I'm on prescription level Vitamin D for 6 weeks. Lack of it can cause depression. So I spent a lot of time in Savannah walking to soak up the sun. Sometimes we women don't take care of ourselves. Go figure. I'm going to start looking after me a little better. I hope to be around a few more years. Hopefully I'll be a blessing and not a curse. But Vitamin D will certainly help! :-)

My Father's Love

2011-07-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

A memory from my early years visits me and makes me smile.....I'm in college and my first serious "suitor" comes unexpectedly to visit me. He from far away (20 minutes) New Haven Connecticut and me at home with my Dad in Ansonia. He must have asked our mutual friend from college for my address and so he shows up with his own shiny black car, buffed to perfection. He stops at the end of my street to ask a younger girl on the corner, if she knew my exact house. My sister Christine answered Frank and told him where to find me.

I was in my living room studying in a beautiful , Jackie O style, bathrobe my mom had sewn for me. I loved that robe, with the fashionable stand up collar, three quarter length sleeve and the A line that fell from the empire buttoned top, and went to the floor. My Dad was peacefully reading his newspaper at the kitchen table as Frank came up the stairs onto the screened in porch. It was a beautiful evening in Autumn, not too warm. As Frank asked if Ellen were home, I realized I was trapped in the living room in my bathrobe and could not get to my bedroom without Frank seeing me. I peeked around the corner, to face my Dad's smiling face. "Someone to see you, Ellen. "

"Daddy could you please tell him to turn around?" My father smiled and turned his head towards Frank and said, "She wants you to turn around."

I was embarrassed but I guess in hind sight, some years later, I realized that it endeared me to both my Dad and to Frank. Years later, I would need my Dad's smiling face to help me thru the dark days of Frank finally walking out of my life.

But I'm touched by the innocent trust I had back then, that my Dad would protect me and help me when I got in a jam. It reminds me of all the times as a child, I held my father's hand and hid half way behind him in fearful social situations.

I feel the comfort now from God as I hold His hand, "Tell them You love me, God" Tell them I did not have a part of all the accusations gathered at my feet , like a pile of dust, from a swept floor." I'm comforted that God sees me and loves me and isn't tainted in His thinking by the not so innocent viewpoints of others. I humble myself before God and man as my Father would want me to. But Humiliation is only mans' invention.

No one can take away my Father's love or the truth of my life that will surface after the dust of the swept floor blows away. I hold my Father's hand tightly. He comforts me and walks with me thru the garden of my life in Him....a bridge over the troubled waters of life.

Jeremiah Encouragement

2011-03-07T16:50:00.000-08:00

Well my posts are far and few between. It's doubtful many read them, but that's ok. It's the journey and journaling that it's about. So many things have happened in this past 2 years. I'm back at work again. Working Mon-Thursday assisting the Data Analyst in Manchester VT for the Vermont Country Store. I like it as the hours are regular and I can rest, clean, do laundry and enjoy my family without getting stressed.
I've let things get to me and started to feel a bit like a failure as a Mom and person I guess. And lonely from family sometimes. But God had greatly encouraged me in prayer and His word. Jeremiah had great valleys of being ignored, misunderstood etc. He went on to be a great prophet. Thru it all , God has been reminding me to perservere and don't shut down on living because of failures or perceived failures by others. God knows my heart and He lovingly brings me to restoration and encouragment. The hardest thing I've learned is that I've not always been discreet as I share about my life and children. I won't harden my heart because I don't like how the message was delivered. It's an age old message to Ellen. Control of the tongue, not letting intimidation devalue my worth in God's eyes. Always been a problem with me. The root is pride. I become that which I find painful when I respond wrongly. So this blog will be more careful to recognize my children's individuality and privacy. Thankfully God knows how much I love my kids and He's the judge and discerner of intent and heart. Overall I think I can only do my best each day and rest in God's loving acceptance. It's not about good works--it's about being. I doubt I'll ever be a very good student. It shocks me to realize God still loves me even thru all this! Even though these lessons have been hard for me, I've been overwhelmed by such a joyful feeling of thankfulness to God for my life and family. It shocks me to remember that HE is thankful for me, too! "Go figure, :-P" as my daughter Sara says.

Time and God

2011-02-13T13:23:00.000-08:00

I wasn't going to blog today, but I had to send the address to my cousin who asked for it and I began reading past entries. It takes my breath away to think of how many things have changed in our lives since Mom's death 3 years ago. My Mom would have been so proud of Jake's mission trips, Dave's graduation, prom and entry into college. She would have loved knowing I made seasonal supervisor at my work place. I since left work for about a year and a half during those intense changes. It was great. Now I work for the same company again in their Business Intelligence section. Amy is off to Japan with her husband, Eric is working at the White House. Sara is happily settled in Ohio in her new home. We have Ruby here now. The list goes on and on. The healing process has been painful for me. Most of the real living, we never facebook or twitter. It's been a journey. These storms these past weeks have perfectly mimicked the storms during my Mom's last days. I led such a busy life during her last days. Our furnace was acting up and making noises. I have incredible guilt that I wasn't kinder, more loving and sensitive to her concerns. I regret that we couldn't always be a normal daughter and mother during her times of heavy drugs etc, This is the process of grief. I recall her last few days when she prayed with George to trust Christ. We then had a precious talk mother daughter...so normal in so many respects..so relaxed. And we extended forgiveness to each other for whatever was in our hearts. It was so healing. So when I have guilt, I go with it...let it have it's place --so I can learn... but then I accept Christ's forgiveness as my Mom gave me so many years ago. So in time and with God's help this journey of grief and healing and loss will continue. Meanwhile I put a pretty plant on my table in Mom's old vase--just like the one she use to have and in the Spring,, I know she'll help me choose just the right geraniums for my window box, just as she did last Spring. Love you Mom....

Transitions

2010-06-29T12:34:00.000-07:00

I've been rereading my post and realize I do a lot of whining lately. This is a public type blog so others are open to read it. No problem there...most will be bored and not keep reading. That's ok. It's meant to be a journal that folks close can read if they wish and know a little bit about our lives by reading it... a way to stay in touch.

So forgive my whining. Baby boomers are losing kids to college etc and our nests are getting empty. Sometimes that means we have to evaluate whether our houses are not too big, etc. Retrain ourselves how to cook for less is also a newly aquired skill. We have a lot in common.

I enjoyed College orientation day. Some of the speeches to the parents encouraged me that I'm not in the boat alone, and I will have to transition. With that thought comes relief of less daily parenting and panic of less daily parenting. I'm freer to enjoy my own music without criticizm etc. But wait--do I revert back to the 60-70s or have I not evolved? Thanks to XM radio I do 60's music all the time, thank you very much.. But I also should have evolved. hmmm--gonna have to work on that...

So transitions are uncomfortable and whining may happen. I whined out to you Lord and you heard me... What would life be without our God??

Have you transitioned to God? Better take care of that! Want to see you all on the flipside...

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you WIll be saved!" ~John 3:14

Heart Strings

2010-05-18T09:20:00.000-07:00

Did I ever mention why I use Heart Strings as my blog title? It's because of a book I believe by my early fav author, Anne Ortlund. She describes how once you have children, your heart forever has strings that go out into the world, never to be taken back.... a vulnerability that can never again be covered over. Your life is forever changed...It's the blessing and joy in one sort of thing.

Something my daughter Sara FB today got me to a website called soiledwings.com. One of her journals in that site/blog grabbed me by the heart and gave my such clarity in the midst of my foggy lately brain. The blogger spoke of how and why geese fly in formation for many reasons. The V pattern gives them great strength and unity. Oh she says it so much better so check out her blog after mine :-) She mirrored that thought with how we are stronger in Christ as we friendship in Christ in a V pattern , so to speak.

My heart burst as I realized this is the gap I've felt this past few years. It began when Amy got married, then Mom died, meanwhile my coochie beloved second son, took his brood to another church. ..They are happy and thriving there, and I'm truly proud and blessed to see them prosper in the Lord better than I, actually. Then to top it all off, Amy goes to Japan and Sara and her family go off to Ohio of all places!!! Can I even begin to describe the loss in our church in our drama team, for instance, when Sara and Matt are not there? Can I tell you how impersonal the Sunday School classes are without all my grandchildren there? Can anyone measure the gap created by Mike or Matt not ministering in some way at our church?

The gap in our geese V formation has been sadly very large. Eric, my oldest son, left home to go in the Army. He married after that and he's been in a number of places around the world. His lovely wife and children following whenever possible.

I'm one of those older ladies now at church, that can rightfully say I've been around a long time and have learned a few things I'm confident in sharing. Just a few, but one is that legalism never melts a heart. Love melts hearts. Love calls us back to our Father God when we feel unworthy, when we've lost our way..

Did I ever tell my children "why" or "how" we wound up in Walpole New Hampshire looking for shelter in home schooling and living closer to the land than the electronics and the world's allure? It's a huge story and most of them don't wish to hear it. The kids remember what we asked them to give up, favorite toys, certain type dress for awhile. Never remember that clothes thing, but they do. All I remember is how wonderful it felt to not apologize to anyone for loving dresses, loving simple things, wanting to put off the remnants of where I came from (which was full of spiritual but not Christian) So when someone I thought smarter and more spiritual than I, said Care Bears and Star Wars were of the devil, I believed it. Afterall, I'd worhsipped the devil in my past! I was terrified that I'd ever be found serving that bottom dweller again! So I broke my childrens' hearts forever, and asked them to give up their treasured toys.

Mainly, looking back now I realize we sooo wanted to please God and sooo gave up our "I'll decide for myself" rather than God ways, that we took our zeal for our new life and became vulnerable to the 'I always want to control but I will call it Godliness bunch'. I was afraid I'd expose my innocent children to the dangers in life I had encountered.

So another thing this older lady knows is that we don't make decisions on our fears. God hasn't given us the spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. I need a sound mind right now. Love moved away but oh wait! Love is of God...so I need to get my V formation going again. It just won't have a lot a family in it right now. True love lets go--that's true. But God hasn't shown me that it also means fly away and stay out of each other's lives. Actually, I think the Biblical examples are ones of family and extended family not so far apart necessarily. I believe it's ok to grieve for the lives that are not part of my daily life, and feel the loss.Nor will I be a hypocrite and say it doesn't matter or hurt. Of course it hurts. Those strings, they go out..and the joy comes and goes. Blessed be the name of the Lord......

Weekend Stress

2010-03-28T08:02:00.000-07:00

So we've downsized to two vehicles. Turned in two needs lots of attention vehicles for one good used truck as the much needed truck was almost 250,000 in miles. Downside of that is we have three drivers. Actually the truck was so old we avoided driving it lately anyways. George went to NH to oversee simulator training of troops and took the "new" truck and Dave and Jake were in NY with the CRV as Morning Comes Early was recording. SO I was left alone in the house sans car.

I ate myself thru the kitchen and practically had a meltdown of boredom. In comes the panic of "is this what it feels like when the kids are gone and I've nothing to "oversee" in their lives?" Granted I answered the occasional text on my phone of the boys checking in, but most of the time it was a real challenge not to eat thru the whole weekend. (of which I am sure I flunked)

You could find me walking around quoting a tv show "who am I?" who am I?" I absolutely abhor boredom. It's the reason I perfect my arrival time to appointments. I hate waiting and reading dumb magazines etc. Ok, so maybe it's because I drink too much coffee. But even coffee wasn't doing it for me this weekend. I wanted to buy a bottle of something alcoholic and drink the whole thing.

Warning bells!!! None of those are the answer---what is it Ellen?? You've got a brain--use it!!

I wanted to go back to the office and do something "important" to impact something--make money too, after all, business is measurable. Yeah--that's it!

Warning bells!!! I quit my job so I could pour into my family and home. Just hard when the kids are away and I'm trying to figure out what to do. But there are lots of things to do! We laid the flooring and carpeting and got the furnace fixed and I sort of "rested" in the comfort. And yes, I realize there is ministry work to do that would be satisfying but my passion is to pour into my family and the people they bring into my life, with the home as the Welcome Center so to speak, and I've so much unfinished work in that department! Money prohibits a lot of course, but so much cleaning needs to be done from so much living having been done. So I will get back to my to do list/prayer list and continue on in my calling. We need much prayer and planning for our unsafe deck and leaking roof repair. But meanwhile I can clean out the garage and loft. Sounds mundane to some but when people see their nest is looked after, it ministers to them. Trust me on this one....it's way more important than some non nest tenders want to admit.

Keepers at Home the Bible calls them. Not to be despised and highly under rated. To have and to hold --to keep your nest. It's a worthy calling.... and if I'm bored it's likely because I shelved the calling for awhile.

Some Enchanted Evening

2010-03-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

Digital Album page

2010-03-01T20:39:00.000-08:00

Digital Albums Progress!

2010-03-01T18:37:00.000-08:00

Soulology Project week 3

2010-02-28T15:29:00.000-08:00

This album page was created to represent a major decision I made the impacted my life in a major way.

Samantha & Grandpa

2010-02-28T13:50:00.000-08:00

Amy's Bridal Shower

2010-02-28T11:46:00.001-08:00

Soulology class week 3

2010-02-27T10:38:00.000-08:00

Had to create a photo album page journaling/expressing a major life decision I've made that changed my life.

Dad & Mom Varnadore

2010-02-26T12:43:00.000-08:00

Their love song created in a digital album page.

Winter in Bomoseen

2010-02-25T16:48:00.000-08:00

Digital album page

2010-02-25T14:53:00.001-08:00

Sweetheart Ball Middlebury VT Feb 2010

2010-02-14T14:27:00.001-08:00

Happy Birthday Julie!!!

2010-02-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

Chicago Mission Trip for Jake

2010-02-08T20:35:00.001-08:00

We're excited and asking for your prayers as Jake leaves with his church youth group Saturday on a mission trip to the windy city of Chicago. He'll be there about a week reaching out thru soup kitchens and the like. Go Jake!

Vermont State Indoor Track Championship 2010

2010-02-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

David Atkins won championship in 55 m hurdles for a personal best and FHUHS school record of 7.97 seconds. Placed second in high jump at another new personal best of 6 feet 2 inches. Winner did 6 feet 4 inches...very good for Vermont!! Congratulations to David and the Slater Track Team!

A Man and his "new" truck

2010-02-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

The old chevy truck went over 250,000 miles and the Honda Accord had seen better days...so out of the dust rises the 2007 Chevy Silverado. Dad is in love. I got to keep my Honda CRV, so it's ok. And today Jacob also got his driver's permit. Go Jake!

Meeting Ruby Emmaline Atkins

2010-01-28T12:29:00.001-08:00

Facebook | My Photos - Ruby Emmaline Atkins

2010-01-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

Facebook My Photos - Ruby Emmaline Atkins: "http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=905335&l=bb861fcace&id=1020401522"

Ruby Emmaline Atkins born Jan 26,2010

2010-01-28T11:18:00.000-08:00

7 lbs 8oz born to Matt and Esther Atkins

Uncle Jack Atkins

2009-09-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Robert (Jack) Atkins, 59, of Salem, Va. passed away Friday, September 4, 2009 at Roanoke Memorial Hospital. Memorial services were held on Monday, September 7, 2009 at Sovereign Grace Community Church in Roanoke. Rev. Bruce Clink officiated. Jack was a native of Wythe County and a graduate of Fort Chiswell High School Class of 1968. He attended and played football at Concord College in West Virginia before entering the United States Army. Jack served in the Army for 10 years, finishing service with the 82nd Airborne out of Fort Bragg, North Carolina. He served in Vietnam and Korea before returning to Fort Bragg. Jack was preceded in death by his parents, James and Betty Atkins, of Roanoke. He is survived by his wife of 17 years, Julie Atkins, of Salem, Va.; his son, Lawrence Patrick Atkins, of Vinton, Va. He is also survived by his brother, George Atkins, of Rutland, Vermont; and two sisters, Toni Atkins, of San Diego, California and Tenia Atkins Phillips, of Memphis, Tennessee. Jack will be laid to rest at the Davis family Cemetery in Wytheville, Va. The family appreciates the support provided by Sovereign Grace Community Church and Goodview Baptist Church. Arrangements are being handled by Lotz Funeral Home in Salem.

Family

2009-09-08T19:04:00.000-07:00

We came together over the tragic untimely death of George's brother Jack. But the sunshine in the tragedy is seeing loved ones you haven't seen in a long long time.

Boston Getaway

2009-08-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

This is the Onyx Hotel that we stayed at during an overnight stay in Boston to see Keith Urban in concert. If you looked out this window you could almost see TD Garden at the end of our street. We got there early via GPS directions, with no problems.... parking attendant came right out and whisked our car away. After checking in we had time to walk the neighborhoods in Boston's north end and choose a nice Italian restaurante. The concert was my first in years, and I was shocked at how many young girls were there to see an rising star called Taylor Swift. She sings about all the issues of romance that these girls could relate to: she especially sings about lessons learned from dealing with past less than perfect boyfriends. The fan girls were singing to every song she sang.... a real eye opener for me. Young stupid boys who want to impress young woman this age could take a lesson: do the right thing and speak the truth. The girls will listen!!
Aside from the teeming social issues that could fill several sociology class discussions, we had a marvelous time. Keith Urban is very talented and sings a lot of pretty songs we enjoy. The boys were at their own 4 day SoulFest concert, so we were free to enjoy a bit of a get away. Thankfully the Sox were playing in another town!!

David Atkins Vt State Track Championships 2009 pt 2

2009-06-10T09:48:00.001-07:00

Vermont State Finals--David Atkins high hurdles-place 3rd in entire state.

2009-06-06T18:35:00.000-07:00

Junior Prom 2009 Fair Haven Union High School

2009-04-04T19:53:00.001-07:00

Four very nice people who are also all on the track team!

David & Alyssa National Honor Society Induction

2009-03-27T08:37:00.000-07:00

David on guitar in Eric's old bomber hat

2009-03-07T12:44:00.001-08:00

Night Flights

2009-03-02T11:12:00.000-08:00

The light from her den called to me in the night,
But she was not there,
The fairie had left with her true love and flown to
exciting places yet unknown.

Her presence was felt still in her den,
But the light had grown cold.

She will return from far off places to visit us one day,
As fairies always do~
------This was a post I made last year when Amy got married. (I just added a more personalized picture this time )She did return from far off places to visit us but she is soon off again--this time to Japan. Safe flight Amy.... I trust you'll return again as fairies always do~

What are You Doing?

2009-01-16T11:18:00.001-08:00

That was the title of the devotional on the day I walked away from a job that I've had for almost 8 years. I loved the work environment and the friends I'd made during that time. I regret giving up the position I'd gained there, and of course the incoming paycheck.But the Spirit of God still moves, just as in time of creation, and my husband George and I knew it was time for me to be home with the boys again. I've nothing but joy right now. Joy for the time to listen to family members, rest so that the creative side of homemaking is coming back, thoughts of hospitality again, teaching Bible studies again, you name it. It's all coming back. Especially time to hear God again. So what am I doing? Exactly what God wants me to do. Doing what God wants you to do?... priceless.

Merry Christmas from the Atkins Homestead!!

2008-12-24T12:54:00.000-08:00

Family and Friends

2008-11-25T10:02:00.000-08:00

The winter is warmer with the kindness of family and friends!!Thank you all for a lovely party.You are all a very sneaky and loving group!!

George and John Henry 2008

2008-11-18T10:36:00.000-08:00

Bambi --Who's yur Daddy????

2008-11-18T07:39:00.000-08:00

Poor Bambi is parentless again and my husband George is driving around Rutland showing off his Daddy!!!

Bad day for Republicans--great event for all Americans

2008-11-06T08:24:00.000-08:00

I lived thru the sixties and watched the injustices on race during my lifetime. Southern relatives of mine still used the N word .I admired the folks of long ago that participated in the underground railroad. Today I am very proud to be an American. The hallowed halls have a black Afro-American President with small children and lovely articulate wife moving in. I am so thankful that at least some of the folks who suffered thru the civil rights movements are still alive to celebrate this event. If God is so awesome to do this, He is also able to still work thru a Democrat.

Bye to football for another year--

2008-11-03T08:48:00.001-08:00

David got to carry the ball here at the Poultney game. Unfortunately Slaters lost but next year is another fresh start and even Jacob is hoping to put on some bulk and play next year also. Uh oh--crazy parents on the sidelines making complete idiots out of themselves for one more year! Isn't it a wonderful life???? Pretty soon Sammy will also be kicking the soccer ball around the field. My schedule is going to be very full and very outside!

Just click your ruby slippers and you're home--

2008-10-15T04:25:00.000-07:00

I love Fall. This picture is almost a perfect image of my back yard now. When the world seems to be unpredictable and biting, the beauty of the earth soothes my spirit. Thank God He already knows what is truly important in our lives. Now if we all could only get a clue, we'd know we're already very rich.....

Go Slaters!!!

2008-09-28T22:08:00.001-07:00

David Atkins #44 makes solid yardage as Slaters advance (in the rain) to victory over Otter Valley 26-15.
Dad, Ellen , Jacob, Yubby and Grant were on the sidelines to cheer them on.

Flying or Dying

2008-09-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

Everytime I am taking off in a plane the same things flash thru my brain...ie the status of my will, what was I thinking when I booked both parents on the same flight, DNA retrieval and identification (oh yeah) and things like that....

But all is said and done and I'm gloriously soaking up the sun and surf in exactly this location and I am loving it!!

Here's a question: As a parent of two teen boys back in VT with their sisters, am I free to totally relax or do I need to worry so nothing bad will happen? Dumb question but every mother knows what I mean. Well this year I am going to do the totally relax experiment and see how that goes. I've good kids and and a very big God, so here goes.... I've already strolled the beach--walked up to the Ocean Deck to eat a leisurely lunch on the ocean.. walked back down the beach to Starbucks for the long awaited caffeine fix and then took a nice nap with the surf in my earshot. I think I am getting the hang of this particular experiment... no calls please, Amy or Yubby!

Admiration

2008-08-14T08:31:00.000-07:00

When Mom is gone who will admire your flowers at the front door? My cheerleading squad is gone and I miss her today.

Beam Me Up, Scottie!

2008-08-11T07:48:00.000-07:00

The rain here is relentless and yet I have this dry spot --this non creative blip -in my journaling; which has nothing to do with the rainy day after rainy day we are having here in Vermont. I'm reading Michael Crichton's book "TimeLine". I found out he also wrote one of my favorite early sci fi books/movies " Andromeda Strain." Yes, you either hate it or love it but I loved it so! Needless to say I was looking forward to reading "Time Line" all the more. It's about quantum physics and moving into another sphere of the earth by replicating molecules. Yes, beam me up type stuff but not quite. He writes so convincingly and has so many references that you're challenged to figure out what part is fiction!! Just when I think I've a handle on it, I notice a small news notation amidst the Phelps gold medals and Russia trying to annihilate the Republic of Georgia. It's about a device being announced in the scientific journals that renders you invisible.
Where are we in the world when that is a small news note on a large page? It's comforting and interesting to know that amidst my "dry spot" there is still lots of creative energy out there....

Happy 17th Birthday David!!!

2008-06-19T07:53:00.001-07:00

Happy Birthday Jacob!!!

2008-06-18T05:15:00.001-07:00

San Diego with Aunt Toni (recent Deputy Mayor, San Diego!)

2008-06-17T09:10:00.001-07:00

Thanks Toni for such great hospitality to our newlywed couple!!

Happy 8th Grade Graduation Jacob!!!!

2008-06-11T21:14:00.001-07:00

Say What??????????

2008-06-10T19:43:00.000-07:00

mastodon?mastitis? 0h--Mastoiditis!!!!

One large shot of antibiotics in the dieriere and a week of horse size pills and the good news is Mastoiditis, loss of hearing and a side of meningitis
does not seem to be in my future.

I hate to go to the doctor so when I do it's usually rather serious and on the edge of common sense living. Fortunately my trip to the doctor this time saved me from something very unpleasant ---ie: not being able to hear the voices of my husband, kids, grandbabies , extended family, and friends. One good thing though I was reminded of during that time is that I will never cease to hear from God. He doesn't need my ears to speak to me!!!!!!!
But being on this earth I am soo glad to hear the voices of those I love .....

God's Angels

2008-05-20T10:58:00.001-07:00

I've been remembering a touching story I read years ago. Please forgive the paraphrase..

A young women's husband died unexpectedly one day. Friends quickly drew around with needed words of comfort from the Bible, casseroles for her freezer, help with the children etc. The love of friends was apparent, as she struggled to arrange for the funeral.

Weeks later, the day to day became hard for her, and on one particularly hard day there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, she saw her daughter's little classmate.

"I'm sorry, ''Casey, Kathy can't come out to play today. She's at her grandmothers' house."

"That's ok, Mrs. Johnson. I didn't some to see Kathy. I came to see you."

"What can I do for you Casey?"

"Oh nothing....I just wanted to come and cry with you today...."

This post is dedicated to Jimmy and his family who lost their beloved sister Chrissy.

"And I even like the color!"

2008-04-16T19:08:00.001-07:00

Out of the dust of the Ford Focus rises the beautiful 2005 CRV-EX. License plate EPB 730
Wow. Ellen's Precious Baby and the year of my wedding --whose 35th celebration is this weekend. And I even like the color. LOL

Dad and I were picking up the car and remembering how Dad walked 5 miles to sign the paperwork for our first car--which he could not drive yet, since he didn't as yet have his driver's license. I couldn't be more thankful if it were a Cadillac Escalade. Thank you honey!!!!

Focus Young Grasshopper!!!

2008-04-07T17:35:00.000-07:00

Cars stopped at railroad crossing plus truck ahead of you plus sun's glare on window equal trashed bumber of shiny truck in front of you plus totaled Ford Focus you are driving. Driver Dad is fine, passenger David is OK--lady driving truck is ok. Truck gets to drive away--Ford Focus gets flatbed ride to body shop for last rites. Pop quiz--what is more important-sad dead car--inconvenience of loss of vehicle-or live people? What shall we focus on? Son in Iraq comes back to states in precious few days, new son in law set out to sea on USS George Washington, grandbabies are beautiful and plentiful, Spring is on it's way. Soon to be driver David gets valuable lesson on how easy chaos can occur. I think I have my focus back. It's all about people and God anyway. Everything else will pass away in the end....

Spaceman and Friends

2008-03-31T08:37:00.001-07:00

Spaceman

2008-03-30T10:00:00.001-07:00

The Neighbors are Back!!!

2008-03-22T07:46:00.000-07:00

Spring is truly here! Our neighbors are moving back in. I caught some cute little bird checking out the bedrooms and inspecting the place. All things happen in God's timing.... especially Spring and new life....

Good Friday Memories

2008-03-20T17:07:00.000-07:00

When I was growing up in the Methodist church, my Mom would always point out to me how each Good Friday about 3pm the sky would get overcast. She would imagine that it was a reminder of how Jesus died about that time of the day--about 3 o'clock. Each Good Friday I check out the sky and many many times, more than not, the skies are darkened about that time.

It's worth noting that Nana went to be with Jesus about that time of the day too. I think in some weird way she would be pleased about that.
The forsythia was always out in Connecticut about Easter time also.
Ok--kind of random but at my age it's permitted...

Red Sox chatter

2008-03-04T08:07:00.000-08:00

Doting grandmother steps into the Sunday School class where half the kids are blood related, including the teacher, and gives hugs and/or hellos to them all.
Grant gets in a dispute that the teacher is not really my son. As said doting grandmother starts to turn her attention to Matt's conversation--the deprived Red Sox grandson continues coloring and says to Aiden to his left , quite nonchalantly, but with authority " She has a LOT of dirty laundry."
OK-time for grandmother to leave --
ROFL
Got to go home and do my laundry!!!!!

Storms...

2008-02-26T19:04:00.000-08:00

Another snowstorm just about 2 weeks to the day I was snowed in when I received word my Mom had died.

Couldn't go to work today with the thought of the boys alone at home while Dad was snowed in up at Norwich University. Was worried we'd have power outage issues and the boys would be without heat and power... an unsettled anxiety inside, so I called out of work. Not like me but I was worried.

Turns out the power lines ripped off the side of the garage during the storm and CVPS had to make a visit to our house and shut down lines to the garage till Matt can come repair the issue.

I keep thinking I hear Mom or her doggie Star downstairs but the house is quiet. Way quiet...

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, not things present, not things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, not any other created thing, shall be able to separate us form the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. "
Romans 8:38-39

"I will worship the One who calmed the raging sea...
And I will worship the one who hushed the rage in me! "
~Mercy Me

I love you too..

2008-02-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

This excerpt from my journal on the 12th...

Mom said "I love you" in the emergency room and those were her last words spoken. From then on she was sedated for severe pain. She's receiving palliative care in the hospital suite for her advanced cancer. She won't wake up again and her breathing is very heavy and labored. It won't be long now till she hears our Savior say "I love you" and He welcomes her to Heaven...

That journal entry came true and Mom has gone to be with God now.
I guess Mom's Valentine's day is the most special and loving that she has ever had.

E Mural Mather

2008-02-13T16:49:00.001-08:00

May 2, 1930-February 13, 2008

We love you Nana....

Old Friends

2008-02-13T09:58:00.000-08:00

I brought an old friend to visit an old friend yesterday. Star was laying at Nana's feet in the hospital saying her last goodbye. We have a wonderful new owner for her that Nana chose with her heart one day when she saw the plowman get out of his big truck and stoop down to hug the cute little dog. Plowman is coming to get Star after the snowstorm. She will ride around with him in the cab of his fancy truck and visit a whole new world.

Mom will soon be in her new world for eternity with God and I feel sure Star will join her there someday--but not till she travels the world with plowman.
Safe journey everyone---

Mr Wizard would be proud

2008-02-10T13:31:00.000-08:00

I witnessed my son's homework project this weekend. Soak the onion in Gator Aide and then after it has absorbed enough of the liquid--you put one end of your MP3 player charger into the player and the other end into the onion. Something to do with the electrolytes causes the player to turn on. Yikes. Three of those items weren't around or dreamed of yet when I was a kid.
I can't help but reflect a lot on how much the world had evolved electronically since I was little. But it's not a complaint--it's an awe. It is great to see and experience the differences in the generations. My son gets on the laptop to further research the project--prints out his report, etc etc.
My prayer for my generation is that we won't give up on life before we die. We're responsible to live life fully every day. Get to know the new technology--not all of it but there's plenty to embrace. There's no excuse for sitting on our rear ends and being boring. There's life to be lived and we can do it. No excuses--heck--you might even like it and have a good time!!!

Outside my window...

2008-02-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

Boy this is fun! Replacing a furnace in the dead of winter, jockeying/pushing cars out of snowbanks. Always looking for the plow and sand truck more than you look for Santa. Bottles of windshield washer fluid, astronomical heating bills, studying weather.com before you go grocery shopping, or driving your son to DMHC, yadda yadda yadda..... well at least we don't as Yet have the flu.

But David has his hard black cast and silver sharpie for signatures, the heat is nice and warm and I can do laundry again. No need for laundromat. We have a car or else we wouldn't even need the washer fluid and I have money to pay the grocer and the heating bill. So what do I have to complain about??? Well there IS my age..... but the alternative on that is not pretty. So thank you Lord for the beautiful view out my warm house window..and hold on to your hat----yes, my age!!!

Goodbye Amy & Rick

2008-02-05T12:58:00.001-08:00

Amy and Rick have left for their new life at Norfolk Naval Station. He will get on a ship in June and probably arrive in Japan in August. Amy may actually get to Japan before he gets there. I so remember my military bride days as if they were yesterday. So I can appreciate the fun and adventure they have just embarked on.

At home we have a reality check as we cope with the departure of our 4th child. When you have 6 kids, at least 4 have to leave before you start to feel the effects of the empty nest syndrome. So I cleaned and cried and now I feel better. But then I see her little ballet type shoes in the family room and well.....

Beautiful cake decorator and flower girl....

2008-01-28T20:03:00.000-08:00

Thank you Matron of Honor, Wedding Planner, Cake decorator, sanity check, melt down healer, and cutesy flower girl!!!

Beauty in Love

2008-01-28T13:34:00.001-08:00

Night Flights

2008-01-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

Clink Clink Clink!!! Smooooch!!!

2008-01-28T02:26:00.001-08:00

Congratulations Mr. & Mrs. Richard Contreras!!!!

2008-01-27T20:00:00.001-08:00

Going to the chapel and we're going to get married..

2008-01-26T17:09:00.001-08:00

Guess who is getting married!!

2008-01-22T06:58:00.001-08:00

May God bring us all together again someday...

2007-12-26T19:18:00.001-08:00

My love and hugs to loved ones far away during this joyous Christmas season....

Boomer Question

2007-12-08T18:08:00.000-08:00

How do you know when you're grown up? This question permeates the minds of my boomer generation. For one--we don't intend to "grow up". For another--we are not sure when or where that happens! Here's a great list I've read recently:
You know you're grown up when....
~You know there are many things much more important than yourself.
~You're willing to say "I was wrong."
~You're attentive to the footprints you will have left in this world.
~You forgive the carelessness of the young, regret the thoughtlessness of your own youth.
~You finally realize you have no one to complain to.

Growing up is a choice. The journey begins with the simplest of steps: Identifying your values then acting accordingly. Of course, for this boomer it means bowing to my creator God, Jehovah and letting Him give me His values and acting accordingly. I must admit I am not very good at it but our loving Father God is just that. He paid for my bad....

Mysteries of the Universe Solved

2007-12-07T15:37:00.002-08:00

It was a dark and cold winter's morning. 5 am came early as youngish mom (only as old as her oldest son plus 9 months or so)--and her smarty pants 16 year old set out for Dartmouth Hitchcock for the long awaited MRI of his ankle. Up before dawn, creep around to get ready so others can sleep 2 more hours. Sneak out of the house into the cold wintery night. Crunch crunch crunch on the hard icey ground. Open garage door, then all of a sudden car alarm is blaring into the silent night. Very obnoxious. How could that happen ? I carry the keys the same way all the time!

"What was that??" says youngish mom.
Says smarty pants zombee 16 year old from beneath the fur lined hood over his head "It was YOU."

The bunnies are hiding in the winter snows now...

2007-12-03T08:31:00.000-08:00

The winter snows are here and the woodland bunnies send us a parting raspberry goodbye...safe now from Matt's orange truck for another year.

Samantha and Grandpa

2007-11-24T16:14:00.000-08:00

Rick who???

2007-11-23T20:44:00.000-08:00

Our sailor guest for Thanksgiving has passed the all important parental and sibling grilling with passing colors.

Happy Birthday Gianna!

2007-11-23T20:31:00.001-08:00

Who wins?

2007-11-17T17:48:00.001-08:00

In the struggle of tension between good and evil.... who wins?

"Love wins.........Love always wins!!"

She's a child not a choice

2007-10-23T08:18:00.000-07:00

My 16 year old son David is wearing a blood red arm band to school today that says choose life, which he sewed in front of the TV last night. He is not making casual conversation today but rather handing out this little card to all those who ask why he isn't talking today. I was so proud and encouraged to think that my son would have the guts to speak up for the missing generations of people in this world right now due to abortion. We worry about our Social Security payments in future years but the truth is we aborted many of those future workers that would have supported those needed Social Security benefits for the Boomer generation. When I asked David what he was doing he explained it all to me. Then he asked me what I thought about the pro life movement. I had to tell him this story----

It was more than 16 years ago that I worked as a volunteer counselor at a crisis pregnancy center in southern Vermont. Living just over the border in New Hampshire, it was a bit of a drive from Walpole down to the center, but I didn't care. My concern at the time was to give a little back to society by trying to reach out to women who needed help. Some of them may decide to give their unborn children a chance for life if my counsel spoke to their hearts. Some were the walking dead inside who had abortion in their past and were struggling to find value and worth ... and most of all.... forgiveness. God laid it on my heart to work with those women since no one helped me so many years ago as a young woman going thru a divorce. My soon to be ex convinced me it was the only way to "save the marriage" and my parents could offer me no place to live if I had the baby. All the counselors in the world at that time were not there to hold my hand when the abortion took place... or to rebuke the doctor who performed it when he got upset because I cried during the process. All the talk in the world could not erase the guilt I felt.
I struggled for years with the guilt and tried to mask or ignore it with alcohol, cigarettes and wrong relationships. Eventually I met a wonderful man, David's dad George, and we married. That was over 34 years ago and since that time I have come to know that Jesus died to pay for my sins and that I could be clean again and healed deep in my soul. And so it was I eventually found myself counseling at a crisis center. I wanted to save unborn babies and also reach out to those mothers, whether they made the right choice or not, and tell them how much God loved them.
I quit the center when I discovered I was expecting a child in my 40's that would be born in June. I was fearful as my pregnancies had not always been easy, so I decided to not travel south to the center but rather rest and prepare for the upcoming birth. That child's name was David Clay-- David means a man after God's own heart and Clay because I wanted him to always be moldable to God's will for his life. So when David asked me what I thought about pro life I had to be honest and tell him my story but I could also tell him to be sensitive because he may hand out a flier to a girl that desperately needs to know God loves her....

Generations will go before us and God promises that if they honor Him , they will rise above their forefathers. That gives me great joy and life....

Leaving on a jet plane...

2007-10-15T11:25:00.001-07:00

Hi Everyone,
On our way to our yearly GDIT meeting in Florida, we sat next to soldiers on their way home from Iraq. I was going for this long awaited romantic Florida beach thing with Dad--and didn't expect to lose it in the airport. Sitting next to a soldier on his way home was hard because my son had left the day before for Iraq. The look of goodbye in the eyes I have seen before. This is his Dad saying goodbye to me on his way to Korea in 1973..... wish I could enlarge this picture for you so you could see the goodbye look in his big beautiful brown eyes.....

Chip off the ole block.....

2007-09-26T05:27:00.001-07:00

If anyone of you knows our family, you realize sports is huge with us. My husband George played high school and some college football with a passion. He always regretted leaving college early and forfeiting his college football scholarship. He even had a tryout with the Patriots in his early 30's. He poured that passion into his love for his beloved Yankees and Green Bay Packers.

You all know too, that when our third son David showed the same maniacal passion to play football, my husband was beside himself with passion again. Even this here woman who loves to take a good nap during football games became this team mom with the array of correct jerseys and matching team umbrella etc. Screaming like a banchie when my son broke thru the line for a long run. I had become that which I had previously loathed. As my husband has said, "There's nothing like a good faceplant with your helmet into someone else's jersey to get the ole blood going..."

The summer built in excitement as we all anticipated football camp for David. Even the town loves to see him play.His reputation started to quietly leak the last year or so. We have had parents come up to us to thank David for the joy of watching him play.. ....Yeah--you know where I am going with this.... David's ankle therapy has not worked out and surgery is ahead of him. We didn't mean to become parents living thru our kids glory but suddenly we had to step back and catch ourselves. This is our precious tubal reversal miracle baby God granted us stewardship of thru His mercy 16 years ago. That sense of something..some ONE ... is still suppose to be born in our family. Our heritage from God......

Well it did not take us long to regroup and affirm how much we love our son and how an ankle is just another way for God to teach us things... It was disappointing for David as he had picked up his favorite jersey, number 44, from the locker room the other day thinking he could join the team mid season. So the disappointment cut deep yesterday as we talked to the therapist.
Our chip off the ole block has a set back. And so do the parents... attitude and priority adjustment time.

But joy comes in the morning today as David got up , put on his ankle brace and reminded me what he told me the other day---that the time for Rally Around the Flagpole was at 7:40..It's a time students can meet at the school flagpole to pray for their school and nation. The school announced it the other day.

As I dropped him off this morning it was a tad early and no one was there yet. I saw one boy hanging his head down sitting on a bench kind of peeking at the pole. As David got out of the car I reminded him that he is the one people follow and look up to because he has courage. If he stood there first --others would come out of the corners and pray with him.

I drove away from the school and it was sort of hard to see, as tears were welling up. Joy, victory in Christ, overwhelmed me. My miracle baby from my 40's was carrying on the heritage of our God. I had recently prayed God would revive my heart, fan the flame of faith in me...but I never imagined he would use my son.

The football field may be next year for our son but the victory is already there. He is still our chip off the ole block but you know what? He is more than that.... He is a new creation in Christ , who before the foundation of this earth, football fields and all, was created to do good works....

"For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."
Ephesians 2:10

Shopping therapy is good for your back.

2007-09-04T22:06:00.000-07:00

Amy and I had a nice morning today. We had to go to Rutland on an errand so we combined it with D&D coffee and fruit smoothie and moved on to Shopping Therapy... you get it at the mall. We both know that after said therapy your back is less strained because your pocketbook is sooo much lighter on the way home.... It's a chick thing and it works. Combine that with a pedicure and you practically cure arthritis!!!

Nyka

2007-09-04T05:33:00.001-07:00

Sweet Nyka found a good doggie loving home with Kylie. Jacob worked hard and found a very nice classmate and friend whose Mom loves dogs. Turns out she is the grand daughter of Bernie--the man we bought our home from years ago. So yeah!!! Nyka is super cute and deserves an appreciative home. Good work Jacob !!! Thank you to my nephew Chris who was going to post her pic on his office bulletin board if needed.

Cookies are medicinal

2007-09-03T07:13:00.000-07:00

Went to church yesterday and my daughter in law hands David an entire bag of homemade cookes. She said it was to comfort him because he can't play football this season. Wow! I think it helped.....

Ahhh camping.....

2007-07-16T08:25:00.000-07:00

Father and son... how cute is that!!!!

"I think we're going to have a son..."

2007-07-12T22:24:00.000-07:00

"Mrs. Atkins, Red Cross is letting your husband know in Korea that he has a son..."
I looked in the basinette and could see his Daddy's big brown eyes. He was looking all around --I knew he'd be very smart. Long skinny legs--I knew he'd be tall like his Daddy. What I didn't know is that he would grow up and serve on some of the same Army bases around the world that his Daddy was then.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIC!!! WE LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY VERY MUCH.....

New York, New York!!!!

2007-07-01T06:25:00.001-07:00

Here we are in NY to see the Yankees today. The Empire State Building is seen from out my hotel window. We are in Secaucus but New York is the view outside my hotel room and the beautiful Empire State Building is the star of the view.
Kids are in Bluefield WV on a Youth Works mission trip. No phone or email that they arrived safely so I assume all is well. Dad and I actually shopped a bit on the way down to Secaucus so that was nice too. All I can say is........

"GO YANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Boys!!

2007-06-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

David Clay Atkins born June 19, 1991 and Jacob Benjamin Atkins born June 18, 1993 by God's gracious mercy.

Protest Songs...echoes of mercy and bravery..

2007-05-27T15:35:00.001-07:00

"This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. "
Elmer Davis

It is politically correct these days, to sit around lunch rooms and parties etc and bash Bush, protest the war in Iraq. If you want to impress in the business world, you better have the politically correct thing to say around the water cooler. Candidates that spend too much money on their campaign ( because they have strong goals and visions they wish to bring to the state--such as bringing more high tec jobs here so we can keep our smart young people in Vermont with good paying jobs) are obscene. But candidates that help Vermont grow into a greater give away welfare state are humanitarian. Anyone who votes for them is concidered financially and morally discerning. It is better to give away money than work differently and harder to bring more technical jobs to Vermont. Likewise, people who sing protest songs and carry signs are also concidered merciful etc...because people die in war and that is bad of course. Let's not examine WHY the soldier sacrifices though. Then we may have to do something ourselves. It is easier to protest. Let others look outward. We only care about ourselves, right?

All these freedoms to criticize and protest were bought by others with a price. My son will likely return for his second tour of Iraq in a few precious months. As a Mom, I feel gut terror and sadness. I want the war to end and my boy to stay home. Is he messed up because he gets on a plane to go and help children and women in another country have the freedoms we take for granted? Does anyone who bashes Bush and the "war" ever care enough to list all the thousands of helpful meaningful deeds our boys have done over there for a grateful people?

I am concerned that for the bottom financial line, the political correctness of what we feel about war, and most of all, not to spill our lattes --this generation forgets what it means to stand up for something--such as helping women get the freedom to go to school. Will you just roll over and let any political force take over this country? Will you be brave and stand up for the oppressed or just run your mouth?

Jesus called me today....

2007-05-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

Jesus called me today....in the early hours of the morning He whispered my name.

He told me to tell you that you should not be afraid....He will give you His power and love and sound mind.... that though the tears may endure the night, the joy will follow in the morning..... and that He loves you very much....

Passed By

2007-05-21T05:15:00.001-07:00

Talked on the phone to a first class soldier the other day. Father of 4 children, great family man, done 3 overseas tours, and he got passed over for Warrant Officer. It was suppose to be a slam dunk --he had top recommendations and had "earned his stripes" so to speak. Great disappointment for his military career. He took it in stride but I could tell he was very discouraged. He mentioned also that since Warrant School wasn't in his immediate future, his second tour in Iraq would be back on the calendar in the fall. I could hear his children playing and laughing in the background as he spoke. Trying to bring some lightness in this serious conversation, I said I sort of wish the Democrats would get their way and just bring back the troops now, then he wouldn't have to go. I could hear him catch his breath and he very kindly told me that to set a time frame for troop withdrawal would play right into the hands of the insurgents and be a disaster for the Iraqi people. With his little twin girls giggling in play in the background, he was concerned for the welfare of a people far away that our country promised to help. That's the heart of a soldier---he won't pass you by without helping if he can... Take time to thank a soldier this month.... by the way---it you didn't know already, that soldier was my son Eric.