Nehemiah Places

 As I drive the roads of Vermont on my weekly errands, I pass miles and miles of lovely farmland and pastoral settings. I often feel a tinge of guilt as I hurry along in my car, knowing that many folks come from out of state to relax and pause at the breathtaking views. But this day I'm all about getting to where I need to go, the appointment that must be met. Suddenly, a structure sitting in the fields, grabs at my heart, as it always does when I see it. It's the complete solid wall framing of a partially built two story home. No roof, doors, windows or siding are installed. Just the complete walled structure, now graying as exposed wood does around here, and weeds become the field, and it's obvious no driveway or lawn will be installed either. I'm struck by the fact that someone had once had blueprints for this house and a vision in their mind as to how they would complete it. Something happened and construction was halted and no one came back. I often wonder, was it a death in the family, sudden loss of finances, or more common than that, the death of a marriage or relationship?

I'm certain that many of us have this type graying structure of an unfulfilled dream in our hearts. Long abandoned and now left to the passage of time. We are incomplete hurting people who function sometimes at half strength at best. Sometimes the pain becomes bitterness and awful unpleasant weeds are sheltered in these standing monuments in our hearts of past hurt and unforgiveness.

It's been years now, and I'm fairly certain we will never see that graying structure in the pasture be brought to life. No one seems to want to come back and finish it. It's also likely beyond repair. To rebuild at this point, probably involves a match first.

How about us? How do we know if the empty long abandoned monuments in our hearts can be rebuilt or do they need a match? In the Bible, the book of Nehemiah tells a story of Nehemiah who was commissioned by God to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem. It was long forgotten and in disrepair. Jerusalem was not fully protected from it's enemies if the walls remained as they were. The first thing Nehemiah did was to weep for the sad state of things. Then he prayed and fasted and cried out to God to help him build the walls and restore Jerusalem. Then he set about doing his job, not listening to the naysayers, till his job was complete.

Sometimes our hearts are like that. We will not look at the abandoned structures in our hearts. Too painful, too discouraging, too long abandoned, etc. I want to encourage you to go to those places as you hold God's hand, seek His heart, letting Him speak to you and comfort you in those painful places. See it as God sees it, weep over the loss, tell God your pain specifically, forgive those you need to forgive, ask forgiveness from God and man where you need to, keep close to God and ask Him to continue to heal those places that hurt, and thank God for the journey. As you come through this with Him, you will see beauty for ashes, I promise you. Then ask yourself, is there any way possible to rebuild this structure, or wall? Perhaps there is no way now. The people involved are long gone, the marriage/relationship is long gone. Then may I suggest you have an emotional Viking funeral? Set a fire to that structure that is no longer in your realm to rebuild. Don't give a shelter to those weeds of regret, hurt, lost hope, or bitterness. As it burns a sweet sacrifice to God that you trust Him to teach you what you need to learn, keep the special good memories, and trust that God works all things to His glory, even the very hardest part. Somethings we only can see on the other side of heaven. Give the questions unanswered to God. The sweet savor of a sacrifice to God. Dance in front of the fire. God will give you beauty out of those ashes. A hard place to get to you say? I know. I've been there but God will make a path to get there if you ask Him with your whole heart.

I was struck by the compassion and reality check Nehemiah had as he contemplated the state of Jerusalem's walls. He knew they must be built. The Spirit of God spoke to his heart. He knew he had to move on it. What about our hearts? What about the structures in our hearts that need rebuilding, rather that a sacrificial fire? Marriages and relationships all over our country are in disrepair. We doubt they can be repaired but we're not asking God the questions. We're not willing to see it through God's eyes. We're not willing to weep  over the situation and ask forgiveness.

I want to encourage you, to let the Spirit of God speak to your heart where you can actually start to repair relationships where you know you need to. Weep over the state of your marriage if you need to. Be willing to ask God to help you repair as far as you are able. Seek His wisdom in the small places of the everyday of your life. The weeds of unforgiveness and bitterness must be plucked out. Small acts of kindness towards that person, seeking forgiveness when you need to, etc. Find the paths to the door of that structure that needs repair. No viking funerals here, just a contrite heart to God to restore life. Generations are affected. You need to do this. You know it. Then forget the naysayers, that don't want you in the hard places of rebuilding. Let them party, you keep building.

This Stage Called Life

Dad and Mom Varnadore

This is the five year anniversary of my Mom's death. She lived with us for the last 8 years or so of her life. I've never been comfortable with death, I must admit. I know God comforts us, and draws us all to Himself, so we can choose to live with Him in the afterlife. It's our choice. God doesn't force Himself on us. I know my Mom is with God. I have that comfort but I still don't like death. It's an uncomfortable companion and it was doubly so because she lived with us in this home. We've lived here many years now. A big part of my family will understand when I refer to a movie, here. But the movie Jumangi has a compelling scene where it shows the house being lived in by various people in a kind of time lapse photography. That's how it feels here lately, as if we are living out our lives on a grand stage.

Over the years, when something happens, like a new deck!, or George's birthday gathering when he turned 60, I think how much Mom would have loved seeing that happen here. We didn't always get along because of various reasons, some not my fault, but she was always my huge cheerleader. She enjoyed helping me choose window box flowers or seeing the boys reach some milestone in their lives. My youngest child of 6, Jake, is leaving for Basic Training in the Army in a few weeks. Assuming all goes well for him, his room will become my sewing/ guest room. This is the same room that used to be my Mom's when she lived here. Before that, it used to be my older daughter Sara's room. 

Life is a stage and we all have our part. Our presence on the is earth will be felt long after we die and hopefully have chosen to be with God. I so wish I could redo some scenes, but I can't. None of us can. All we can do is do our best and pray that those after us will remember only the best parts of our efforts. I guess that's why I love this stage so much. I will miss having to leave and I miss those that have left already. So no, I'm not comfortable with death. But death be not proud...your days are numbered and our lives are eternal. We can thank God for that.

Warm Weather

The weather outside is frightful and we no have water coming into the house, due to a faulty switch, I am guessing. The well man will confirm or deny that tomorrow. The only thing is, the weather inside our domain is "warm". We have a loving family of four, an extended family of a zillion :-D and many loving friends. Our youngest "baby" has enlisted in the Army and is getting coaching info from our oldest child, Eric, also in the Army. We have no water in the house but we have good expectation of getting someone here tomorrow to fix the issue. A great brother in law called to coach my hubby through the prelim testing of the water issue, so I know what to tell the well man tomorrow. Our older children are thriving in their married lives. Jake, our youngest is so excited about his very soon to be, Army training in Nodal Network Maintenance Specialist job We're so thrilled for him! Dave is working hard at his Quality Assurance job at Ellison Technologies.He is dating a lovely (it's the only word that always comes to mind about her) girl who challenges him to grow in his interests and reading material. My hubby is gainfully employed in an era of folks unemployed. So even though the world around me is cold, I am thankful to God for the warmth and warm "weather" in my life right now!!

Rescued Love

Oh my goodness! Have I a wonderful story to tell about my hubby's knee replacement progress but first today....the flowers from the yard called to me! A lovely lazy Sunday afternoon after church it was...with the boys off to fish on a local hardly noticed pond that their fishing buddy Dan knew about. Huge fish, we have pictures, were caught and let go. Meanwhile the night's rain produced an emerald green heavenly back yard, with the odd early Fall leaf blanketing the ground. Smack in the middle of this loveliness were my fabulous sunflowers. I  try very hard not to pick them too early , as I feel they earned the right to stand tall and face the sun as long as they wish, but fortunately for me, the rain had caused a few to bend to the ground. Dashing out with my kitchen scissors I rescued them from the damp ground. Flowers without guilt. Love it! Do you think God loved it when He rescued us? Were we His beautiful treasure, a flower of beauty? Of course yes! (it was a trick question) 

Tanker Knees

My daughter's blog post today reminded me that I should post the event coming up in our lives on Monday, March 11th. George is going into Rutland Regional Hospital to have double knee replacement. He has old injuries from playing football in high school and college, and that was compounded with jumping off tanks for years and years, as a Master Gunner. At the urging of some of our children, he began the process of seeing the doctor for advice etc. The advice was very clear: he literally has no knee function worth talking about and he's very unsteady in his walk. The doctor said "knees don't get any worse than what we are seeing on the xray here." It was clear. Surgery needs to be done. So here we are.

The picture above is the perfect example of a man who loves life, but is restricted by his lack of mobility. (note the walking stick and the bowed leg) I had no idea how much the knee malfunction affected my husband's dreams and goals. Ever since we gave the go ahead for surgery we are getting more and more excited about what we can do together. The Texas two step is in our future, as is losing weight together with exercise and cross country skiing next winter maybe, if we both find we enjoy it.

Surgery is scary but we are focusing on the prize ahead. We feel blessed to be able to focus on better quality of life when many others in our lives are thankful just for life itself. Today is the day to live our lives. Tomorrow never comes. We can only live today.

2013 Beginnings

It's hard to believe a year has passed so quickly. Digital scrap booking, Facebook, others more interesting blogs, Pinterest, you name it, have taken my attention from this blog. I was reading my post from December 2011 as we faced the uncertainty of a sudden layoff from General Dynamics because of lost contracts.I'm very happy to say that although my husband was laid off at Christmas 2011, as he was preparing a sermon on Patience, as our main Pastor was out of town, the outcome was not too much of a struggle. Trusting God is always a fruitful exercise and worked in our hearts. Two days after his layoff, the company that got the contract, hired him via teleconference as his new boss was getting on a plane! This year we look to March for the time when George has double knee replacement surgery. We are both getting excited about being able to walk together again and get in better shape etc.Our year started with 12-18 inches of snow in our area. It truly looks like Vermont around here. Snowboards and clothing dry near the wood stove. Ski boots, line the hallways. It's an understatement to say that our family room is a testament to each person's hobby. Between hunting,skate boarding, snow boarding, and nerf guns, along with the real gun safe, you must know you're in Vermont! I don't appreciate Vermont's liberal anti God focus, but I see God's splendor outside all around me. "The heavens declare the glory of God." No more so than Vermont!

Minding My Own Business

It was a lovely day today. The sun was out and for February, it was unseasonable warm and pleasant. I had my to do list and started on the highway. Listening to some great music, I was ready to get off in West Rutland to go shopping. Had it all timed, be home by 3pm etc. My day's business was set. It was great!

Suddenly this nudging from God's Spirit. Go to RT 7 and be about My business. hmmm...really got to stay on task, Lord. A verse moved into my memory from my sister's casual call a few days before. "Look up...the fields are white unto harvest.".... go to the hospital and visit our elderly friend there. hmmmm....Kind of last minute, Lord.I heard she wasn't receiving visitors. I haven't a clue what I'd say. "I will tell you what to say..." hmmm..

The car refuses to get off the highway in West Rutland. Don't put off doing good till tomorrow. ....OK Lord, hospital it is...but she'll probably hate me for this!!

Had a lovely lovely visit, laugh and cry with a dear elderly friend who has known me a long time. She was very happy to see me and wanted George to come back with me some time and give her one of his bear hugs...told me how much she enjoyed hubby's recent sermons on the local cable network.

Thank you God, minding Your business was so much more fun than minding mine!

Transitions

Today was a day of worry, stress, reflection, hope and praise (in that order)I'm thankful I've lived long enough to know that when God closes a door He truly does not only open a window, but a new pathway that He has planned for me. I can trust Him for that. I'm stressed out in this time for the changes that are "threatening" and may very well come to pass, but as I "worked" it out, with God reminding me He controls it all, I was so comforted by the fact that He's always been there for me. Even when I didn't know it and felt very alone as a young woman.There isn't any calamity that can suddenly fall upon me that isn't God filtered. I know that now.Do I like what I see on the horizon? No--but my love affair is with God, and He'll never ever let me down or allow anything to happen to me that He doesn't permit in His sovereign will.Some of the most interesting and most blessed things in my life have happened when I was put on a path I hadn't planned.


"The question was raised
As my conscience fell
A silly, little lie
It didn’t mean much
But it lingers still
In the corners of my mind

Still you call me to walk
On the edge of this world
To spread my dreams and fly
But the future’s so far
My heart is so frail
I think I’d rather stay inside

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me
How You love me

It took more than my strength
To simply be still
To seek but never find
All the reasons we change
The reasons I doubt
And why do loved ones have to die?

But You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

I am the thorn in Your crown
But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow
But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist
But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss
But You love me anyway

See now, I am the man that called out from the crowd
For Your blood to be spilled on this earth shaking ground
Yes then, I turned away with this smile on my face
With this sin in my heart tried to bury Your grace
And then alone in the night, I still called out for You
So ashamed of my life, my life, my life

But You love me anyway
Oh, God… how you love me

You love me anyway
It’s like nothing in life that I’ve ever known
You love me anyway
Oh Lord, how You love me

You love me, You love me
You love me, You love me
How You love me
How You love me
How You love me."

If the rain or sun comes God, I praise You!!!

Freedom

Today was a hard day, lots to think about, so I sort of kept my brain's second hard drive on prayer and meditation mode.

I ran into myself today, maybe with a mix of my Amygirl, too; a casual acquaintance that reminds me of Amy with her tattoos, and piercings, etc. She would easily have been likely to stop at Rockin Willies to visit Amy when she was there, fitting in perfectly at one of David's shows etc. Thus to say I've a bit of a soft spot for her. She came from a far away state with her boyfriend to live here. Watching her happily adjusting to working in a traditional work situation and talking to a much older generation as she helps them on the phone. I'm a schmuck for the underdog and the disenfranchised. She announced today she was homeless because her bottom dweller of a boyfriend announced they were breaking up as of this moment and she suddenly had no place to live last night. Only 18, she was trying not to cry as she continued in her much needed job. I was a very traditional type girl compared to most but I know what it's like to have been young and dumped by a selfish person and suddenly find yourself completely alone.

It's my place to be professional etc. I hardly know her but my heart broke. A mutual acquaintance frowned on me when I told the girl I was proud of her for holding herself together and finding a way to work after she had to suddenly spend the night at the bottom dweller's mom's house. Do we turn our back on society just because they made some poor decisions? She was raised by her great grandmother and they gave the room away when she moved out. She had freedom of choice and she chose poorly. Do we pass the cup of compassion or judgement?

I was also thinking today of how many times my world traveler daughter Amy refers to her overly sheltered background with lack of fashion and TV channels etc. As I sat down today to watch my Hercule Poirot on the PBS station memories crashed in about all the wonderful stuff we used to watch on PBS because of our TV depravity. It showed a girl looking in a telescope as one of their ads. It reminded me of how the lack of the world's depravity as my children were raised in Walpole NH enabled my children to soar in their own dreams without the crushing of peer pressure to do what maybe they weren't ready for. For as much as some things were too legalistic with our church folks rules and expectations, my older kids had a wonderfully protected life that made room for each of them to blossom fully. I met a little girl today that may not have had a parents love, care and nurturing. Was she free or were my children free?

God cares for them all. I'm praying this little 18 year old will find God's love in Jesus and not be alone and vulnerable to the next bottom dweller because she could find her full value in the price Christ paid for her.

~But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.~

Fall Memories

Fall "Autumn" is my all time favorite time of the year. Sights , smells and sounds imprint our brain with memories and I can't think of a season that has done that more for me than Fall. Timeless memories of pretty colorful leaves on the ground....raking them up on a lazy afternoon--to see how large a leaf pile we could create so we could jump off the porch into the huge pile. School dresses in beautiful plaids newly made by my mom, with new lunch pails and pencils for school. Long walks home after the bus left me off --shuffling my feet thru the paths of dried leaves.

I remember long walks in the woods, looking for hickory nuts to crack open for a snack. Beautiful dark purple grapes in the vineyard behind Mr Toro's house. The smells of gorgeous leaves on the ground, damp with the Fall rain. Times going to the Danbury Fair to see the Clydesdale Horses....the harvest of the season at every display. I'll never be too old to remember how wonderful it all felt, even now. I put out the pumpkins at the door near the mums. Our house is surrounded by a carpet of gold and red leaves that reflect this beautiful light/aura around the house. I realize they have to be raked--David's job this year :-)---but right now I enjoy them and my heart is overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for all his bounty.

~~The heavens declare the majesty of God~~~

Raging Waters 2011

It's odd that I've not blogged/journaled about Hurricane Irene yet. It's wrecked havoc across Vermont. Not sure what to say about it...so overwhelming it puts even this chatty Cathy to silence. But it's huge here. People are suffering. Roads and historic homes and bridges are washed away by streams that became raging rivers. There's much to do to help.

It's funny how so much beauty can be seen in such stark contrast to such darkness. People are despairing and suicidal, I'm told. In myself, I feel like I'm starting on a very good road. It's all about God and what He wants me to do. A new beginning... I desperately need this...to feel needed and helpful and yes even someone who people would be blessed to know. I'm so incredibly thankful to God for His never ending second chances. Life is rich and beautiful. Young people sometimes don't think us older folk feel and move with the same intensity or sense of joy that they do...but I can attest that this old lady feels full of hope and brand new. Bring it on!

Transitions

I've been rereading my post and realize I do a lot of whining lately. This is a public type blog so others are open to read it. No problem there...most will be bored and not keep reading. That's ok. It's meant to be a journal that folks close can read if they wish and know a little bit about our lives by reading it... a way to stay in touch.

So forgive my whining. Baby boomers are losing kids to college etc and our nests are getting empty. Sometimes that means we have to evaluate whether our houses are not too big, etc. Retrain ourselves how to cook for less is also a newly aquired skill. We have a lot in common.

I enjoyed College orientation day. Some of the speeches to the parents encouraged me that I'm not in the boat alone, and I will have to transition. With that thought comes relief of less daily parenting and panic of less daily parenting. I'm freer to enjoy my own music without criticizm etc. But wait--do I revert back to the 60-70s or have I not evolved? Thanks to XM radio I do 60's music all the time, thank you very much.. But I also should have evolved. hmmm--gonna have to work on that...

So transitions are uncomfortable and whining may happen. I whined out to you Lord and you heard me... What would life be without our God??

Have you transitioned to God? Better take care of that! Want to see you all on the flipside...

"Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you WIll be saved!" ~John 3:14

Soulology Project week 3

This album page was created to represent a major decision I made the impacted my life in a major way.

Chicago Mission Trip for Jake

We're excited and asking for your prayers as Jake leaves with his church youth group Saturday on a mission trip to the windy city of Chicago. He'll be there about a week reaching out thru soup kitchens and the like. Go Jake!

Boston Getaway

This is the Onyx Hotel that we stayed at during an overnight stay in Boston to see Keith Urban in concert. If you looked out this window you could almost see TD Garden at the end of our street. We got there early via GPS directions, with no problems.... parking attendant came right out and whisked our car away. After checking in we had time to walk the neighborhoods in Boston's north end and choose a nice Italian restaurante. The concert was my first in years, and I was shocked at how many young girls were there to see an rising star called Taylor Swift. She sings about all the issues of romance that these girls could relate to: she especially sings about lessons learned from dealing with past less than perfect boyfriends. The fan girls were singing to every song she sang.... a real eye opener for me. Young stupid boys who want to impress young woman this age could take a lesson: do the right thing and speak the truth. The girls will listen!!
Aside from the teeming social issues that could fill several sociology class discussions, we had a marvelous time. Keith Urban is very talented and sings a lot of pretty songs we enjoy. The boys were at their own 4 day SoulFest concert, so we were free to enjoy a bit of a get away. Thankfully the Sox were playing in another town!!

Night Flights

The light from her den called to me in the night,
But she was not there,
The fairie had left with her true love and flown to
exciting places yet unknown.

Her presence was felt still in her den,
But the light had grown cold.



She will return from far off places to visit us one day,
As fairies always do~
------This was a post I made last year when Amy got married. (I just added a more personalized picture this time )She did return from far off places to visit us but she is soon off again--this time to Japan. Safe flight Amy.... I trust you'll return again as fairies always do~

What are You Doing?

That was the title of the devotional on the day I walked away from a job that I've had for almost 8 years. I loved the work environment and the friends I'd made during that time. I regret giving up the position I'd gained there, and of course the incoming paycheck.But the Spirit of God still moves, just as in time of creation, and my husband George and I knew it was time for me to be home with the boys again. I've nothing but joy right now. Joy for the time to listen to family members, rest so that the creative side of homemaking is coming back, thoughts of hospitality again, teaching Bible studies again, you name it. It's all coming back. Especially time to hear God again. So what am I doing? Exactly what God wants me to do. Doing what God wants you to do?... priceless.

Merry Christmas from the Atkins Homestead!!

Family and Friends

The winter is warmer with the kindness of family and friends!!Thank you all for a lovely party.You are all a very sneaky and loving group!!

Bambi --Who's yur Daddy????

Poor Bambi is parentless again and my husband George is driving around Rutland showing off his Daddy!!!

Bye to football for another year--

David got to carry the ball here at the Poultney game. Unfortunately Slaters lost but next year is another fresh start and even Jacob is hoping to put on some bulk and play next year also. Uh oh--crazy parents on the sidelines making complete idiots out of themselves for one more year! Isn't it a wonderful life???? Pretty soon Sammy will also be kicking the soccer ball around the field. My schedule is going to be very full and very outside!

Just click your ruby slippers and you're home--

I love Fall. This picture is almost a perfect image of my back yard now. When the world seems to be unpredictable and biting, the beauty of the earth soothes my spirit. Thank God He already knows what is truly important in our lives. Now if we all could only get a clue, we'd know we're already very rich.....

Go Slaters!!!

David Atkins #44 makes solid yardage as Slaters advance (in the rain) to victory over Otter Valley 26-15.
Dad, Ellen , Jacob, Yubby and Grant were on the sidelines to cheer them on.

Flying or Dying

Everytime I am taking off in a plane the same things flash thru my brain...ie the status of my will, what was I thinking when I booked both parents on the same flight, DNA retrieval and identification (oh yeah) and things like that....

But all is said and done and I'm gloriously soaking up the sun and surf in exactly this location and I am loving it!!

Here's a question: As a parent of two teen boys back in VT with their sisters, am I free to totally relax or do I need to worry so nothing bad will happen? Dumb question but every mother knows what I mean. Well this year I am going to do the totally relax experiment and see how that goes. I've good kids and and a very big God, so here goes.... I've already strolled the beach--walked up to the Ocean Deck to eat a leisurely lunch on the ocean.. walked back down the beach to Starbucks for the long awaited caffeine fix and then took a nice nap with the surf in my earshot. I think I am getting the hang of this particular experiment... no calls please, Amy or Yubby!

Admiration

When Mom is gone who will admire your flowers at the front door? My cheerleading squad is gone and I miss her today.

Beam Me Up, Scottie!

The rain here is relentless and yet I have this dry spot --this non creative blip -in my journaling; which has nothing to do with the rainy day after rainy day we are having here in Vermont. I'm reading Michael Crichton's book "TimeLine". I found out he also wrote one of my favorite early sci fi books/movies " Andromeda Strain." Yes, you either hate it or love it but I loved it so! Needless to say I was looking forward to reading "Time Line" all the more. It's about quantum physics and moving into another sphere of the earth by replicating molecules. Yes, beam me up type stuff but not quite. He writes so convincingly and has so many references that you're challenged to figure out what part is fiction!! Just when I think I've a handle on it, I notice a small news notation amidst the Phelps gold medals and Russia trying to annihilate the Republic of Georgia. It's about a device being announced in the scientific journals that renders you invisible.
Where are we in the world when that is a small news note on a large page? It's comforting and interesting to know that amidst my "dry spot" there is still lots of creative energy out there....

Say What??????????

mastodon?mastitis? 0h--Mastoiditis!!!!

One large shot of antibiotics in the dieriere and a week of horse size pills and the good news is Mastoiditis, loss of hearing and a side of meningitis
does not seem to be in my future.

I hate to go to the doctor so when I do it's usually rather serious and on the edge of common sense living. Fortunately my trip to the doctor this time saved me from something very unpleasant ---ie: not being able to hear the voices of my husband, kids, grandbabies , extended family, and friends. One good thing though I was reminded of during that time is that I will never cease to hear from God. He doesn't need my ears to speak to me!!!!!!!
But being on this earth I am soo glad to hear the voices of those I love .....

God's Angels

I've been remembering a touching story I read years ago. Please forgive the paraphrase..

A young women's husband died unexpectedly one day. Friends quickly drew around with needed words of comfort from the Bible, casseroles for her freezer, help with the children etc. The love of friends was apparent, as she struggled to arrange for the funeral.

Weeks later, the day to day became hard for her, and on one particularly hard day there was a knock at the door. Opening the door, she saw her daughter's little classmate.

"I'm sorry, ''Casey, Kathy can't come out to play today. She's at her grandmothers' house."

"That's ok, Mrs. Johnson. I didn't some to see Kathy. I came to see you."

"What can I do for you Casey?"

"Oh nothing....I just wanted to come and cry with you today...."

This post is dedicated to Jimmy and his family who lost their beloved sister Chrissy.

"And I even like the color!"

Out of the dust of the Ford Focus rises the beautiful 2005 CRV-EX. License plate EPB 730
Wow. Ellen's Precious Baby and the year of my wedding --whose 35th celebration is this weekend. And I even like the color. LOL

Dad and I were picking up the car and remembering how Dad walked 5 miles to sign the paperwork for our first car--which he could not drive yet, since he didn't as yet have his driver's license. I couldn't be more thankful if it were a Cadillac Escalade. Thank you honey!!!!

Focus Young Grasshopper!!!

Cars stopped at railroad crossing plus truck ahead of you plus sun's glare on window equal trashed bumber of shiny truck in front of you plus totaled Ford Focus you are driving. Driver Dad is fine, passenger David is OK--lady driving truck is ok. Truck gets to drive away--Ford Focus gets flatbed ride to body shop for last rites. Pop quiz--what is more important-sad dead car--inconvenience of loss of vehicle-or live people? What shall we focus on? Son in Iraq comes back to states in precious few days, new son in law set out to sea on USS George Washington, grandbabies are beautiful and plentiful, Spring is on it's way. Soon to be driver David gets valuable lesson on how easy chaos can occur. I think I have my focus back. It's all about people and God anyway. Everything else will pass away in the end....