|Dad and Mom Varnadore|
This is the five year anniversary of my Mom's death. She lived with us for the last 8 years or so of her life. I've never been comfortable with death, I must admit. I know God comforts us, and draws us all to Himself, so we can choose to live with Him in the afterlife. It's our choice. God doesn't force Himself on us. I know my Mom is with God. I have that comfort but I still don't like death. It's an uncomfortable companion and it was doubly so because she lived with us in this home. We've lived here many years now. A big part of my family will understand when I refer to a movie, here. But the movie Jumangi has a compelling scene where it shows the house being lived in by various people in a kind of time lapse photography. That's how it feels here lately, as if we are living out our lives on a grand stage.
Over the years, when something happens, like a new deck!, or George's birthday gathering when he turned 60, I think how much Mom would have loved seeing that happen here. We didn't always get along because of various reasons, some not my fault, but she was always my huge cheerleader. She enjoyed helping me choose window box flowers or seeing the boys reach some milestone in their lives. My youngest child of 6, Jake, is leaving for Basic Training in the Army in a few weeks. Assuming all goes well for him, his room will become my sewing/ guest room. This is the same room that used to be my Mom's when she lived here. Before that, it used to be my older daughter Sara's room.
Life is a stage and we all have our part. Our presence on the is earth will be felt long after we die and hopefully have chosen to be with God. I so wish I could redo some scenes, but I can't. None of us can. All we can do is do our best and pray that those after us will remember only the best parts of our efforts. I guess that's why I love this stage so much. I will miss having to leave and I miss those that have left already. So no, I'm not comfortable with death. But death be not proud...your days are numbered and our lives are eternal. We can thank God for that.